Relationship Complexities Bring Clarity

Intro

Here are some epiphanies I’ve had on relationships recently:

1) The main reason why I’ve gotten into relationships my entire life. Is because getting in relationships is the normal thing to do on this planet.

2) Breakups happen for many reasons, but they always point back to Misalignment.

3) Anytime I’v tried to keep a relationship working, love may have been in the mix, but ego was also part of it..

As you read this. I want you to know. It’s not my intent to sway you from entering relationships. It’s my intent to iterate that relationships bring complexities. Those same complexities bring clarity if we take a moment to be honest with our partner and most importantly ourselves. Everything you decide to do when it comes to relationships needs to come from your heart. Not your ego. Not from desires that your parents or society instilled within you or conditioned you to believe.

Your heart and mind may hardly ever be on the same page if things start to get real rocky in your relationship. If your heart tells you to go to couples therapy in order to find a better middle ground. Do it. If your heart tells you that you and your current partner are in completely separate dimensions and paradigms, and are unaligned, and should probably separate. Do it.

Clarity may come to you, or them first. One person may be ready to leave. The other believing they are willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. But that’s the paradox of it. People say they are willing to compromise certain things, but when patterns keep presenting themselves - you must constantly read between the lines. Everybody shows you what type of relationship and experience they want to exist in and desire. I’ll elaborate on this further below

Self-Alignment: The Ongoing Challenge, but Top Priority

I highly believe! Anybody’s top priority in any sort of relationship is to find alignment with one’s true self. It can be an inherently complex task, and often requires significant introspection and the unlearning of inherited beliefs and values, but if you are not aligned with your true self. You will constantly be in and out of relationships, or in a life long relationship wandering “why isn’t this easier?’” If you are seeking alignment and don’t know where to start. I suggest you look at yourself as a blank slate, forget and unlearn identities and paradigms passed down to you over time. You need to listen to you. The Godly / Formless you that exists outside of Space and Time. That version of you knows exactly what you want and desire, or at least. Knows what you need at any given time.

If you seek help or guidance from any person outside of you. You need to take it with a grain of salt. And be weary of any paradigms or conditioning they may have. The reason why I say this - is because - we are coming to truly unique times on this planet. The more and more we evolve, the status quo is obliterated time and time again. Our paths become more and more unique every generation. Take time to yourself to release tension, and distractions, and envision what feels best to you. Not to your partner. Not to your mom, or dad. Not to your mentor. Not to the author of the book you last read. Really FEEL - what feels best to you…

Society subconsciously teaches us to drift further from our self. Our friends, our parents, our partner and spouse may subconsciously do the same. Many people don’t realize it because they are only trying to help. Or… To turn you into the person that would please them the most..

For the longest time. I thought how I processed reality was the wrong way to process reality, because my partner would tell me “I’m too logical”. I really thought something was wrong with me. But a little tiny voice in my head would repeatedly tell me, “to just let it pass. Don’t hold on to it”. After hearing “I’m too logical”, one thousand times. The little voice in my head completely disappeared. I really fet like something was wrong with me. But I would also replay the many moments in my mind when I would cry to a song, or meditate and release emotion. Have discussions with myself about what emotionally feels right to me. When people try to fix you, or balance you out, they are coming from their own perspective. Their own dimension. Their own reality of what they think is true. Which, of course, is also full of conditioning, paradigms, beliefs, and judgments.

Because of the world we live in. Some of us may never find our true self. It could take lifetimes. I beg you. Please don’t be that individual. If you need to drop everything, (that can possibly be dropped) and meditate and dive deep. Please do so. Finding your true self is the greatest feeling in existence. Better than sex, drugs, coffee in the morning, music festivals. It brings a peace and freedom that nothing artificial or man-made can bring. When you know your true self. Reality changes. The need to argue, defend, and prove yourself fly out the window. At least it did for me..

Keep in mind. Change is the only constant thing. As you continue to evolve and to exist through time. Always make moments of introspection..

Alignment in Relationships: Compounding Complexity

Now. Take everything I said above and multiply it by 2… Two People, Two Frameworks: Entering relationships "multiplies" the complexity of alignment: differing values, beliefs, emotional processing styles, and life trajectories are both inevitable and challenging.

Like I said. Change is the only constant. Alignment, both internal and within the relationship, can shift dramatically even within a single year; time is subjective. When I entered my latest relationship in March of 2025. It felt like the right thing to do for me. I wasn't;t in the best of places mentally, but I wasn't in a horrible place either. No matter what. I will never get in another relationship if I;m not in a great place mentally, and spiritually. I suggest you do the same. Especially if you believe in Law of Attraction, and Quantum Physics. As time went on, complexities arose. We tried to manage them. In February of 2025 I started Astral Projecting and this only made things “worse” but “better”. It was like my egoistic mind was wiped clean. Or at least put in the back seat. My multi-dimensional self was fully absorbed. I went through a period of rebooting and re-calibrating, while continuing to try and sort these complexities out. But week after week. I was becoming more and more clear. Seeing the relationship, life and reality from a different perspective. Observing everything differently. Then it became clear. That this relationship is not the pot I'm going to grow in. The conditions are not the right conditions for me to continue evolving.

You remember the tiny voice I mentioned above? The voice that disappeared. Well at this point it was loud. It’s currently the first voice I hear now. It’s the captain of my ship.

The best way for me to explain it. It was like a freak accident that my ego didn't want, but my spirit needed and intended to happen. It flipped my world inside out exactly the way it needed to. I’m dizzy just thinking about it..

Coming back to reality now. Relationships benefit from shared values on big issues (life, money, work, religion, life path, desires, wants, needs, paradigm, dimension), but complete overlap isn’t necessary. It's more critical to have trust, tolerance, LOVE, respect and appreciation for differences. Not criticism, skepticism, judgment, unease, prodding and poking.

Notable Examples from my experience

1) Emotional vs. logical processing: Our Processing styles were a point of friction (me being logical, ex-partner as emotional). Remember when I said I would go deeper on “reading between the lines”? Here we are. If my partner says they accept me. But - constantly complain about me being too logical. They are saying they don’t accept my processing style, which is technically me. If I have the capability to let my partner speak, complain, rant, and cry for hours at a time on the phone. As I remain present with her until it passes, and you never hear me say “Well geez, you're too emotional, you should be more logical”. We have a issue where one partner is allowed to present themselves without judgment, while the other is criticized for the way they present themselves. If I bring this issue up several times. And it continues to happen. My partner is telling me that they want a man who is a bit more emotional then I am. Or at least some sort of variation of emotional that I’m not. My answer to this. IS go find him.. Her comparing me to her homosexual male best friends isn’t helping the issue.. Her telling me I need to go find a men’s group also isn’t making anything better..

What I find hilarious about this now. Is that men are typically logical. Women are typically more emotional then men. I’m starting to think I was with a women that didn’t understand how men work. Or. Would just forget from time to time, and wanted me to be one of the “home girls”? I don’t know.

If someone - 1) can’t trust in the flow of a relationship, 2) Can’t allow differing processing styles to exist, 3) is quick to tell you what you need to do in order to change a certain aspect of you, 4) and wants to behave like everything they say is correct… These are red flags. Now here’s the paradox. If your true self tells you this is tolerable. Much respect

The ability to let the other person simply be who they are is essential; without this, constant friction and arguments result. God loves you as you are. God will never tell you to change who you are. (Of course, unless you are acting unruly and hurting people) even then. That’s questionable.. but. The more differences you have with your partner. The more acceptance there needs to be.

2) Life Path Desires: I’ve always been magnetically drawn to the highest level of transcendence. I want to test every law or theory known to man. So when I say. “I want to try reversing my age, or living until I'm 200, or turning my body into light at the end of my life.” and if I’m met with lack of belief, or lack of acceptance, or being met with push back in any sort of way. That simply signals misalignment as well.

3) Work and Lifestyle: It sucks for a relationship. But lately I have consciously chosen to live most of my life on the road as a truck driver. I’ve had some major setbacks over the years that have made it a top priority for me to rebuild my finances. Even though I ended up finding a job that could get me home every weekend I was still spending 2 weeks to a month on the road. I was getting out of debt from lawyer payments from the previous year. Helping my partner and her son pay for a place to live. We did cohabit this place together, but spending money on this place and her desire for me to help her pay for utilities and half of rent motivated me to work longer days, or weeks as well. Ironically I wasn't at the home very much, and barely had any of my belongings within the home. But to me, I saw making the payment for the house as a selfless service to her and her son. As a man and honestly, human being, foundation is very important to me. There has to be a balance between monetary sacrifice and building a financial cushion in order for me to feel comfortable, and to be able to invest in myself as well. This of course put strain on the relationship. And was something that was discussed regularly. After some time. I started being told that the reason why I was spending so much time on the road was because “I was resisting building intimacy with her”. This was utterly flabbergasting. Because I clearly communicated the reasons, several times, on why I was working so much. Near the end of the relationship she talked how she deserves to not be by herself so much. I agreed. But it wasn’t going to change the plans and the commitment I had to rebuilding myself

4) Relationship Priority:

I started seeing that intimate relationships are not my top priority. I was seeing they were for her. Sadly, but honestly, I felt like we were doing ourselves a disservice by being with one another. After the realization of alignment came to my awareness. I asked myself, and maybe even asked her. After 9 years of being on and of. “Have we ever truly been aligned, or just aligned enough to force something to work?” To me it seemed like the latter

Conclusion

I can’t speak for her. But for me. As we approached our 9th year of knowing each other. (9 coincidentally is a year of completion) I truly feel like a karmic cycle has been put to rest. The entire time of knowing her. Whenever we were apart, I would to some extent, think of and fantasize about her. I don’t catch myself doing that anymore. After my spiritual progression occured. I noticed I didn’t feel the same about her. Of course I knew. This could be the stress talking. But even til this day. Nearly 6 months later. I don’t feel the same tug to her that existed for 9 years, even when apart.

I do have dreams about her. One day I was sleep walking. I missed her call in a dream, then literally called her back while I was sleeping, in real life. I officially woke up with the phone ringing and hung up. I also called 2 other friends lol. But I feel like this is me sifting through the thoughts of closure. We haven’t spoke. Honestly. I don’t see a point in speaking about any of these things. I feel like any conscious person could go back in time and sort through the mess themselves. If we were to do so. It couldn't be with the same energy that occurred during the final moments we were together..

Questions for Self and Relationship Evaluation

1) Does this relationship / container foster my growth or is it a constraint?

2) Are differences being held with love and respect—or do they cause recurring conflict?

3) Do I feel I can safely and peacefully evolve - with acceptance?

4) After an extended period of time. Does the stress and exertion outweigh the enjoyment I get from this relationship?

5) What lessons do I feel like I need to work on within the relationship, and outside?

6) Could I imagine living life without this person?

Authentically, if you feel ever you desire guidance on any relationship complexities, feel free to send in a form, message, schedule a call, or glance over any other service of mine/ours